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5 Things to Say to a New Mum When You are Visiting Her!

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Here are some friendly reminders if you’re visiting a brand new mum (but this really applies to a mum at any stage really) at the hospital, confinement center or her home:

  1. “Your baby looks so healthy/alert/chubby/cute or insert <positive adjective> for baby!”
    • Mothers constantly worry about whether their baby is getting enough milk and sleep and whatnot. Mothers constantly worry. Period. Unless you are someone who is around the mother and baby a lot (and therefore has a higher likelihood of knowing if there is any cause for concern), I would stay away from making comments about the physical appearance of the baby, especially with regards to how skinny, thin, hungry etc the baby looks. The smallest of comments can create doubt and anxiety in a new mother who is already struggling with the responsibilities of new motherhood and changing hormonal levels. 
  2. “Would you like some water?”
    • Ask if the mother has had water or simply bring her a glass. Breastfeeding mums tend to get very thirsty and often times forget to stay hydrated. More often than not, they are stuck under a tiny human who wants to feed constantly, so they may not even be able to physically get to the water. Have a glass for them at arm’s reach and let her know she is cared for!
  3. “It can’t be easy but you’re doing SUCH A GREAT job!”
    • Motherhood is hard. New motherhood is just overwhelming. New mothers NEED to hear they are doing a great job, a wonderful job! Say it out loud. Maybe a few times even. You never know – that might be the brightest spot in her day! 
  4. What would you like me to get you ?
    • New mothers need to be mothered. Whilst the new baby is drool worthy and needs to be oohed and aahed over, it is even more important to love on the new mama. She needs the attention, she needs the mothering for herself. When you enter the room, ask her how she is doing before you shift your attention to the baby. Hug her. Hold her. Tell her she is amazing! 
  5. “How was the birth?”
    • New mothers have a need to talk about their birth. Unless she has had a traumatic birth and wants to take time (in which case don’t force her), most new mothers need to go over their birth story multiple times in order to process how it happened – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Listen without judgement. Don’t offer advice or “You should have done this…” Don’t talk about your own birth story at the time. Let her talk and simply listen. She needs to be heard.

And oh yes, take a present for the Mama. She deserves it! 

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